Sunday 17 Meskerem 2002/27 September 2009
People define happiness ands success in a number of different ways. I measure happiness by the number of people I have attracted in to my life and managed to change theirs positively. What is more blessing than see a person live today and dream for tomorrow because of the footprints you left in their lives? Success is so much different. It’s all the summation of your achievements less the bad experiences from your past life. For most success is usually seen as a financial or academic excellence or even items one possesses. However we define it what matters most is that we try harder to make our tomorrows better.
As I sit in my office on this quiet Sunday afternoon, day of Meskel – day of The Finding of the True Cross, I was so surprised how two weeks swept by in a flash from the new Ethiopian year. What is worse is 28 years have flashed off of my life as if it would be back after a while, where the fact is it won’t. It’s just a month back that I marked my 29th year birthday, a day that always marks how little I have managed to accomplish through the year elapsed. As I thought about this the years flashed in front of my eyes giving me a glimpse of my own life.
People take me as a funny, easy to be with, sociable and with a self esteem higher than my height and as a guy who knows his way around girls. I couldn’t agree 100%. Yes it is a fact that people won’t find it hard to be with me and find issues to have a smile cross their lips. But I see myself differently; I usually find me as a guy who is guarded, a little bit petrified of letting people walk in to my life – which I think is something getting stronger through the recent years. I would be lying if I say I don’t really know my way around girls. I really do. But I could not agree if people take me as a pimp. I’ve managed to make most think that I am where in fact I always refrained from the big moves.
Through the last couple of years my life has been a wonder land. So many had walked in had adventurous times, and left. I my self had taken my life from one peak of emotion to the other, from a gentle charming guy turned myself in to a wild arrogant sex driven maniac. In just few years I have dated and been with so many; younger or older, sexy or not so sexy, charming or otherwise. I don’t even know who came after whom or even worse, how it all ended or even it ended at all. I know those who got the chance to know me with the past years might wonder if what you are reading is really about me. For most what actually known of me is that I am a workaholic maniac who almost practically lives in my office. Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if you do so; because that is what my life has turned in to recently. But I would say one had to be me to know me.
It’s not a state secret that if one spends 10 – 12 hours of his day in his office, he either owns the business or is not ready to hit the road, yet. After my biggest episode of turmoil in my relationship life, where a chunk of the blame is on me, I have tried so hard not to have serious relationship. It doesn’t mean that I don’t date, go out with girls or get laid. Well I do. The trick is I try so hard for them not to think about me again or most probably think about them or what happened again. Quite recently few people have managed to walk in to my life and I see in their eyes when I meet them that the feel my long absence than my presence. I hope they would understand one day why I see them today and probably wouldn’t hear about me for months to come, have a late night chat over the phone and that won’t happen for weeks to come, why my mails and texts drives them so wild and couldn’t get the fire in me when we meet. I wouldn’t try to explain why this happens, because I my self won’t understand it sometimes. As a result I find my office to be a nice self proclaimed cell, talking with my self and be with my self, of course with some intrusions from friends on facebook, gtalk or yahoo.
The last couple of years, because of these and a number of other reasons, have made me see the heights of my career and professional life. I do what I love, spend most of my time capitalizing on my academic life. I also got the chance to enrich my experience through a number of instances on my part time engagements. I have had the chance to work and be acquainted with some big public figures, international organizations and companies. The couple of extras I earn every other month made money my last worry in my daily life. Though I am so much comfortable with what I do the dream I have for an independent life, a self established business is still in my mind and have always been what really bugs me day in day out. Especially as I sometimes think how long I would last if I drop everything I do right at that moment. That usually takes my charm away – need to find something that I could live on, sleep as often as I want and relax as often as possible. That’s why I usually nag my self to do a lot more than what I am doing and to try harder than ever. You know what I wouldn’t want to see me where I am right now after a couple of years, except the blessings I have of course.
I am so grateful for the great family that God has blessed my life with; they are the primary reason why I see today so differently than anybody else. Though within the last couple of years we have experienced some losses in the family, God have found ways to bless us with the additional lives who joined the family. Seeing my elder sister got married was a toll of my happy days and then came the kids, adding more love, laughter and joy to the family. Having my other sis get married and expecting, witnessing my younger sis move up in her career life and going home to find my mom still worried about me and looking a lot younger as thought of her grandchildren brighten her up, what more else could one pray for?
So much has passed and so much I have managed passed through in life with graces of God; family and friends. For each moment that went by, be it sad or happy, days to be remembered for good or bad, I am so grateful and thankful for being able to witness all. I may not be so much of a great friend or a charming companion but I believe this, if I have managed to hold and have you as a friend, I am lucky enough. If you worry much about who I be with, whether I have fun or not or have a girl to share my life with or got angry on me for spending so much time in the office and not out there enjoying my life, I am even more blessed to have you. With your concern, care and love I am sure the days ahead will be times that are worth to live again. So bare with me walk with me in this interesting walk of life.
My Perspectives 